39 weeks

Bun in the oven!

At 39 weeks of pregnancy, with the delivery so extremely fantastically imminent, I still sometimes find it difficult to believe that I'm pregnant. In about 1 week's time (or less!), I will be a mother. Phew. And my squishy squashy adorable perpetual-5-year-old husband is going to be a father. Double PHEW.

I have been fortunate enough to have a 'restful' pregnancy aka stay-at-home-sometimes-working-pregnant-mom. I have also been blessed with a wonderfully morning-sickness-etc free pregnancy, Alhamdulillah, which just rather compounds the unreal feeling of having a baby in my womb. It was only on the day that I felt the baby move did I allow myself to fully recognize the fact that, in some weird Species-ly way, I was growing a human being in my body. As the movements became stronger and more 'visual' (yes, you can see the baby move her limbs) and when I could no longer see my own feet, I gradually believed what everyone was telling me i.e. I'm going to be a mommy.

Before we decided to get pregnant, I had always felt a little apprehensive about having children. To me, children are great when they're someone else's, but when they're your own and you can't pass them off to someone else when they cry, well it just becomes a little tedious on the nerves. It's not just the diaper-changing or the constant sleepless nights - uni days were probably worse off - it's the mere fact that you are irrevocably, unquestionably, completely RESPONSIBLE for another life form. I really don't think there's a parallel example for the burden of parenthood. Getting married, for example, simply kind of sort of means you get a roommate and extra legal rights; however, if you feel one day you no longer want to commit to the relationship, you have an exit clause. You can free yourself from marriage, work, credit cards, habits and ideas, but you cannot divorce, change or terminate a relationship with your child when you feel you don't want/cannot stand the commitment anymore. When you have a child, you MUST be responsible for him/her, come rain or shine.

Ariff of course has always been enthusiastic about the idea of becoming a father :) If you know him personally, you would understand why, even though he acts like a child most of the time anyway. I think it was very gracious of him to have considered my feelings about having children and not 'forced' me into breeding immediately after the marriage. I am very glad we were able to rationally discuss the topic of children before we made the decision to have any. In the 1.5 years +- of the marriage, not only were we able to sort out our expectations about the family we were to have, we were also able to approach family-building in a more emotionally and financially mature manner. Though I realize that many people want to have children immediately after they marry, I still stand by the advantages of waiting a while, giving time for the marital relationship to settle, getting to know each other on all levels, and discussing expectations about the family first. I just feel it makes the marital bond stronger which will, hopefully, nurture healthy family ties in the future. I know for a fact that it's difficult to raise contented children when the mother and father are constantly at each other's throats about house chores or money woes just because they (mom and dad) do not have a system/SOP that assists in solving problems BECAUSE they never made time to talk about such a system. I can say more on advantages of planning, but I digress. I just wanted to say, out of all this brainfartfuzz, that I am glad Ariff and I waited to start the family because my apprehension about having children is gone. In it's place is just a rather unsteady chain of emotions like excitement, hope, nervousness, and deep satisfaction. But I guess that's okay.

I guess now, at 39 weeks, there's really no denying that I am to be a mother with the presentation of physical evidence and hormones and the overwhelming feelings. And you know what? I've discovered that I quite love it. I talk to my tummy all the time, stroke my tummy all the time (my FIL comments that I don't need to be constantly holding the tummy because the baby cannot logically fall out if i don't... or can it?), sit in bed and dream about tiny baby feet all the time... Sometimes, when I wake up in the mornings and see Ariff's smiling sleeping face and feel the baby moving in my tummy, there are no dark clouds in my heart or in my head. There's just light.

Acara 10,000 Langkah Merdeka

On 9 September 2012 I began my first official walk/run for the year 2012. It was a good warm fuzzy feeling because I felt empowered and determined as it was a step into a positive direction: towards a stronger healthier person I aim to become.

The day began early as I made my way to the Palace of Justice, Putrajaya for the rendezvous point. Picked up my participants kit and got myself psyched up mentally & physically for the race.  As I was getting ready, I met up with Fateha & Cordellia (office mates from WP). We had a warm up session before we were flagged of. 10,000 steps was approximately 6.5KM and to be honest it did not seem to far away/long/tiring as most of the time we were chatting all the way. 

To be honest it was a fun endeavor. Got to walked in the middle of the road in Putrajaya and get fresh air in the morning but the feeling of empowerment was the one that I really loved and look forward to in the walk/runs to come.

Hopefully this event is a beginning to many more walk/run events in the future & I hope this is a great start to a life changing transformation programme for me in caring for myself & my family Insyallah.  

Hari Raya 2012

We’ve been married for the past 2 years but 2012 is probably the first time we celebrated Hari Raya as a couple since last we celebrated our first in Australia. To tell you the truth, I was really concerned on whether I could adapt into a family that have very different lives from my own. To complicate the matter and to make things a little more interesting, Fea’s heritages are of both Jawa and Banjar….talk about learning to learn and adapt quickly. My learning curve for that week took significant strides forward.

This year’s strategy to celebrate Raya by taking the train & plane method…and by gosh it worked to our advantage. Will consider this method for visits to come. The day began by first saying goodbye to the neighbourhood twins before we made our way to Embah’s place in Bagan Datoh. Since it was my first time, I was really excited with the scenic routes that ayah took just to give us a sense of how it felt to ‘balik kampung’. We made it to BG during Zohor time and ayah brought us to a nearby mosque that ayah says was made by embah’s embah quite some time ago. The wooden old school architecture was like nothing I haven’t seen before and it was nice to be part of this place.

One of the reasons that we had come home early for Raya was because there was much to be done in preparations for the big day tomorrow. We got straight into it with making lemang and (attempted) ketupat. I had also a go at making chicken rendang. In the evening the children had a go at the bunga api, which I had not played for in years. It took me back to memories when things were just simple. To be honest with you, I miss those times. By the end of the day, I was physically drained with the activities that we had throughout the day and the non-stop eating session we had as a family. However I was fill with excitement to the prospect of celebrating my first raya in a kampung ever.

After sorting the duit raya for the children, the men proceeded to the mosque where we had Eidulfitri Prayers meanwhile the ladies proceeded to get the meals for the day ahead ready. Upon returning, we then had a bersalam session. (This is an interesting custom because everyone set in a circle of their own families and then they each will move to bersalaman with other families around the circle). It was definitely somewhat  unique to me. During the time here we went to few family houses within the area including Fea’s great grandmother’s place. In the short two days I got to have a crash course of jawa life and the atmosphere here (i.e baby crying, markas PAS, no-stop eating, no kitchen access etc) would be a good reminder that everybody lives different lives from my way of life in Penang.

To think that the culture shock was over, the very next day we headed to Nenek’s place in Chenderong Balai. Due to the Raya Holidays, a 30 minute drive became 3x the time and distance but we were really glad to finally arrive. The place however was a different shadow then I remembered it to be. Nenek hasn’t been feeling well and the place has not been cared for some time. However this Raya has taught me to accept everything as what it is. There is still love in this house and I was determined to enjoy this leg of the Raya. Nenek’s house is unique as there is an abandoned surau literally right infront of it. So for our prayers the boys will make way into the surau. Back at the house I noticed that most of the boys were still teenagers and young adults like myself. We got the bonding session off to a kick-start by playing FiFA 2012 on Omar’s laptop. It felt like playing with my brothers especially with all the trash talk and all but then as the matches progress into the night I was just lucky to survive the games. I must say that games (even video games) bonds people together.

After spending a fun few days in Perak, it was now time to head up north to Penang for Raya. This time around Raya was pretty quiet as most of the time we were in hospital caring to opah whom is now suffering a stroke. It was not as festive as before but there were a few highlights that I will forever remember:

i)                    Ashraff b’day at Queensbay where he had a pain in the neck…no smile

ii)                   Lunch at Tao….buffet to the max

iii)                 We found out that we will be having a baby Ilhan and all is well so far =)

iv)                 Heart-to-heart discussions with my siblings

v)                  Made a promise to make a different to change my life after this raya (especially the weight   

              dept)

vi)                Found out how people could be sooooo self absorbed with themselves that it was so 

              emotionally draining for me

vii)             Managed to beraya at the hospital…finally

viii)         Joined a Ketupat  Eating Contest @ Island Plaza….and became Champion (RM 300 CBTL  

              voucher)

       

I have to say that the Raya celebrations this year had its ups and downs but it was probably one of the most memorable ones I had in years. It was also a great break from the hustling and bustling office life and a good & much needed recharge indeed.       

Pre-Eid 2012

Last year, Ariff and I celebrated our first Raya as husband and wife in Canberra; it wasn't horrible but it wasn't awesome either. Being away from the families on such a sentimental holiday, though in the company of fellow countrymen and familiar food, simply did not feel very right. Ariff is my family now too, but I still miss the traditions that my family have kept many years before. 

This year, Alhamdulillah, we are home. At the start of the year, we had doubts about where we would be come August (due to Ariff's pending posting... gah!), so we're just really happy that we have been given the opportunity to experience the whole balik kampung thing together.

For logistical practicality purposes, we have decided to celebrate the first 2 days of Raya with my side of the family first, and then spend the rest of the week in Penang.  Since we will most possibly be posted by early next year (though I say this with a modicum of skepticism), and since I will be delivering in December, we will not have much chance of doing our rounds with the relatives before we leave; Raya just seems to be the best time to just meet everyone for now. If we were to go to Penang first, we wouldn't be able to go back to Chenderong and Sg. Tiang as my parents would already be back in PB by the thirds day of Raya. Besides, we have not been back to either kampung for EONS! I also want Ariff to experience the balik kampung for raya atmosphere and bakar lemang, make ketupat etc. as he has never done anything like that before. However, it will still be a bit new and possibly shocking to him to not be with his own family for Raya for the FIRST TIME EVER (Canberra doesn't count), as I am sure it will be for his family too, especially as Opah is unwell. I am thankful that both he and his family, and my family too, understand that things have changed and are on-board with our plans.  

One of the worst things about the Raya holidays in Malaysia (or any other major holiday for that matter) is the flood of motorised vehicles on the highways. The last time I drove home for Raya, it took me 7 hours to reach a destination that would normally take just 3. So, this year, we are feeling decidedly smug with our own cleverness as we will be skipping the godawful jam on the Plus highway because we will be taking public transport! We'll be taking the train to PB (but we've decided to alight at Tapah just so my parents don't have to wait for us in PB and sacrifice precious traffic and preparation time as we will only be able to leave Putrajaya on Friday night thus arriving on Saturday. One whole day wasted as they have Friday off), and we'll be flying back to KL from Penang! SO SMART!!! But how will we move around for the festivities, you ask? No fear, as my parents are taking 2 cars to the kampung with them; one for them and one for us. Thank you Abbas for being home for Raya this year as this could not have been done without you :)  

Another issue that I find myself facing this coming Raya is that of the 'what should I bring to my in-laws house for Raya' issue. My parents have always set an example of giving sedekah to the family come Raya; my mom usually gives kain batik or pelikat or kuih or baju raya or money or daging etc to both my embah and nenek every year. I have come to appreciate this habit and want to adopt it myself as a sign of generosity and filial piety. But the thing is, my in-laws are very practical people, and they are very practical people who are fully self-sufficient. Though I'm sure they'd appreciate anything that we give them, I still feel that gifts like baju raya or money are superfluous. Therefore, I decided to gift them with effort or sweat, blood and tears. I toyed with making them a batch of Ariff's favourite chocolate chip cookies, but in the end I decided to make them sambal goreng instead because Abah likes it so much. Of course, I had to take up a project that I had never attempted before for an occasion as important as this. Oh well. It took me 2 whole days to whip up enough for the Penang side, the PB side and the Putrajaya side, and cost me exhaustion and back pain. It was a labour of love :) I just hope they like it because, as usual, I feel it's a little under the mark. Oh well. 

It's just 3 more days to Raya and I'm so very excited! We leave tomorrow! So I will now go and pack :) 

ruminations on parenting

yes, i feel you. from here 

as i near the 23rd week of my pregnancy, i have parenting on my brain. before we decided to get pregnant, one of my biggest concerns about having a child was whether or not i would be able to be a good parent; now that i'm pregnant, i feel, sometimes, like i need to get a time machine, travel back in time and make sure that my ovum remains untouched because there is just no way in heaven i'd be able to be the just, selfless, adaptive, committed, and loving mother my child deserves to have. 

people tell me that i should read on the issue to calm my nerves, believing that i will take comfort in abstract psychological terms and definitive methods of 'child-rearing'. though academic logic usually helps me make sense of strange things, it does nothing more but overwhelm me when it comes to this scary and mysterious world of motherhood. there are so many things that i do not know! alhamdulillah, i am thankful that i've had training in basic childcare like diaper-changing, feeding and general upkeep of a child's cleanliness by virtue of being a big sister to 4 siblings (ok, i only took care of the last 2), but i'm guessing pretty wildly that being a mom is different from being a big sister. it's like what my father says about why he's so excited about being a grandfather: he can play with the child or even change the diaper, but when the baby cries, he can just hand the child back to the mother and not feel guilty about it. when you're the mother/father, you'd better know how to make that baby shut up or you'd soon be crying with it. 

looking around me, i see that people approach child-rearing differently. there are parents who allow their children to do anything they want because they want the child to experience the world without boundaries and develop their imagination bla bla bla therefore finding it appropriate to keep quiet when their children wreck item displays in supermarkets or make another child cry (or just because they can't be bothered to restrain hyperactive children); parents who keep a constant stream of nagging in order to help children visualize the boundaries of the real world and warn them of impending 'hurt real bad' situations, sometimes speaking so loudly of how absolutely useless the children are that passersby take double-takes; parents who feel that they are the supreme-most-important-being-of-authority that their children must not only respect them, but cower in fear every time they hear footfalls and see their parents' shadow; parents who talk to their children like their children are babies no matter how old they are; parents who force their children to become like them because they feel they are the best, most amazingly fantastic type of human being imaginable; parents who just don't care.... and, really, the list goes on. come to think about it, there are parents whose style i cannot even begin to describe! so with observations like this and a new generation so easily bruised like peaches, i am left disillusioned about my own capability and, more importantly, fortitude in bringing up a sensible human being. is it really possible?

according to the psychologist Braumundi who did a research in 1967 exploring the link between parenting styles and the effects these styles have on children, parenting is usually characterized by 4 important dimensions: 

• disciplinary strategies
• warmth and nurturance
• communication styles
• expectations of maturity and control

according to their approach to these 4 dimensions, parents usually display 1 of 3 different parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian or permissive. the research was supplemented by Maccoby & Martin in 1983 to include a 4th parenting style called uninvolved parenting. 

• authoritarian parenting: this is the 'because i said so' style of parenting where parents set the rules and children are just expected to follow without explanation. failure to follow would usually result in punishment.
• authoritative parenting: as in authoritarian parenting, parents set rules for children but are more democratic. they are more responsive to children and are more supportive than punitive. 
• permissive parenting: this is the 'i'm a friend, not just a parent' style of parenting. as the name suggest, parents are more indulgent of children's behaviour as they have low expectations of the children's maturity level. they rarely discipline and punish children.
• uninvolved parenting: parents have low demands, responsiveness and communication towards children.they are generally detached or completely neglect their children.

these 4 parenting styles seem to have been adopted as the basic guide to parenting, even in today's literature. research has shown that authoritative parents affect their children's levels of productivity, happiness and general well-being most positively compared to the others. authoritarian parents yield highly productive but unhappy children, permissive parents produce problematic and unhappy children while uninvolved parenting ranks the lowest where children are generally problematic, unhappy and unproductive. source.

from the research conducted, it's easy to see that the best way to raise a child is to adopt the authoritative parenting style. but, as with many other sociological undertakings, it is easier said than done. how do you know what rules are best and when to break them or whether they should be broken at all? how far can you negotiate with your child before it becomes unproductive or even counter-productive? if you don't punish them, how do you support them and still tell them they were wrong? these are all questions that have no definite answers. as the people around me say, parenting is trial and error.

natural parenting. well, not really. from xkcd

besides parenting styles, another thing that nags my brain is the debate on natural-parenting. it seems to be all the rage now as it rides on the wave of the organic, earth-friendly movement. new parents now turn their faces away from chemically-unsafe products and 'unnatural' child-rearing methods. in our horror of a quickly disintegrating earth (and moral society), we are 'going back to nature' by buying more organic products, returning to breastfeeding and baby-wearing, and more mothers are choosing to quit their careers to stay home and take care of the children. obviously, these are all great things; i agree that too much tv is bad for a child's cognitive development and that children should not be fed corn syrup at too early an age. but what concerns and nags at me is the sense of anxiety that natural parenting brings. it seems to me that parents are becoming increasingly paranoid about the 'threats of the big bad world', waxing lyrical on how 'i only want what's best for my baby', therefore becoming increasingly over-protective of their children. 

natural parenting advocates parents to be as close to their child as possible so that the child feels safe and secure. some go as far as allowing children to be breastfed until they are 3 years old or more as compared to the traditional weaning point of 2 years. its the whole 'keep your child feeling safe and secure' thing that really bugs me. i understand that the physiological benefits of breastfeeding are tremendous both for baby's physical and brain development as well as mother-child relationship bonding, and i agree that it should always be the first choice in feeding; however, i also believe in the concept of moving on, where the child learns to be independent and find security in himself. extending the child's lease on mommy security will only lead to the child learning about independence later than he should. it's like learning that there is no santa claus; the truth hurts but you need to know it in order to be a functioning human being. the same goes to protecting the child from harmful chemicals, barney, swear-words, and a world with no mommy and daddy. you can protect the child now, but sooner or later, they will need to know how to survive without your shield; in kindergarten, your child will know that tv is awesome even if you swear that he will never know the idiot box, and he will only proceed to find it somewhere else. sometimes i feel that it is not just the child that needs that security, but it is more for the parents. parents get too attached to their children and do not know how to let go because they no longer know who they are without their children. that is why i tell ariff and myself everyday, that we need to remember who we were before the baby came. we had a life before the baby and i hope we continue having it after the baby comes. it would be extremely sad to leave our lives now just because a squalling baby found its way into our arms one day. 

well, obviously my writing skills have turned to dust as there does not seem to be a chain of logic in this post. oh dear. but it is cathartic. i will continue chewing on parenting and remind myself that it is all about balance. balance and common sense. (see, even the conclusion has no conclusiveness).

“So much to say…yet I am speechless with joy”

Our First Baby Scan 

I Cannot Describe This Feeling 

As I write this I am at a loss for words of what to say. When the pregnancy stick proved positive for the first time after numerous attempts and when the ultrasound showed a womb of 5 weeks and 4 days old, I knew that our lives from here on would be totally changed forever. For now however the feeling has yet to really sink in but I know reality will get real very soon.

For now both of us are very fortunate the support system around us and I thank God everyday for such amazing family and friends around. At this juncture we do not want to jump the gun yet and announce this auspicious moment in our lives . On the other hand concealing such happiness is almost impossible to do.

The 9 months roller-coaster ride ahead is going to be a thrilling one.

P/s As I post this, I am much relieved that Fea is much more stable in her pregnancy now as we are already half way in (4.5 months/18 weeks++)…My how fast time flies =D

GOOD NEIGHBOURS

JUNE 26 — Dear Indonesians,

I write to you as a Malaysian citizen who is appalled at the latest Jalur Gemilang burning ceremony in Jakarta. I sincerely hope that this open letter reaches you wherever you may be, and translated into languages that you can read and understand.

Over the last few years, Malaysians have watched in horror at how you treated our Jalur Gemilang and our embassy staff. We have witnessed the throwing of faeces, bricks, rocks and other objects at our embassy and endured the continuous threat, insults and jeers hurled at us, our officials, and yes even our athletes during the last SEA Games.

Remember one Chris Ardi Toruan who once pointed to Malaysian pressmen during the SEA Games in November 2011 saying: “Ini semua orang Malaysia, mereka tiada otak”?

Well, this “tiada otak” Malaysian certainly does.

Perhaps you have forgotten that there are not less than two million registered Indonesians in Malaysia, eking out a living in our plantations, construction and domestic sectors to feed their families back home.

We have so far played the role of a gracious host where they are accepted and treated with dignity and free to move around this country without fear of repercussion from Malaysians, regardless of the demonstrations in Jakarta. Come to KL during Hari Raya and other festive seasons to see for yourself our metropolis becoming a “little Indonesia.”

I cannot think of a time when we were not accommodating. Why, I remembered seeing your countrymen break into a celebratory dance at Dataran Merdeka after winning the Thomas Cup against us some 20 years ago without worrying about retaliation from the host country.

Can you imagine if the results were reversed, and what would happen to Malaysians cheering in Indonesia?

Where else would you find such a tolerant host? The Americans? The Europeans? The hate crimes reported against Muslims have yet to have an end in sight after so many years of the war on terror!

No doubt there are cases where Indonesians are abused, but this is the exception and not the norm. Those responsible for the abuse were not protected, and in fact they were severely prosecuted in the court of law. Nirmala Bonat, the Indonesian maid who was abused by her employer, gained sympathy from Malaysians from all walks of life.

Her employer Yim Pek Ha was initially sentenced to 18 years in prison before the Court of Appeal reduced it to 12, for causing grievous hurt to her maid.

It is the same with the Indonesian maids who caused grief to their employers. We have seen maids abusing toddlers, stepping on them, hitting them and even starving them over the years. Some employers were even found murdered by their maids. But like I said earlier, these are exceptions and do not affect our impression towards your country.

Otherwise there would be a rally outside your embassy in KL.

Emotions should never interfere with diplomacy which is the reflection of rationale and logic. We should let our leaders discuss and sort out our differences, implementing measures that will prevent further abuse of both the employers and the employees. We must give way to diplomacy for the sake of our two great nations.

Believe it or not it is in our best interest to see you grow. From Tun Dr Mahathir’s era of prospering-thy-neighbour policy, we now have numerous Malaysian companies operating in Indonesia. 

Among the notable ones are Sime Darby Bhd, IOI Corp Bhd, Kuala Lumpur Kepong Bhd (KLK) and Genting Plantations Bhd which have invested in about 602,000 hectares of oil palm plantations in Indonesia as of 2010, not to mention the CIMB Group, Axiata Bhd, AirAsia, Petronas who have also poured billions and billions of US dollars into your country.

For reasons only known to the Malaysian government, we also have students in your universities. To appreciate the enormity of it, the total Malaysian investment in Indonesia between 2004 and 2009 stood at US$2.1 billion (RM6.7 billion) against the total foreign direct investment flow into Indonesia for the same period of US$36.6 billion.

Putting at risk the years of co-operation and camaraderie between our countries for a dance that most Malaysians have not heard of is not only foolish but also premature.

Maybe this is just my “tiada otak” talking, but I would be proud if another country adopts my culture and nationalises it as their own. Instead of burning and desecrating their flags, I would do everything I can to support their endeavour to ensure the continued survival and propagation of the said culture. After all in this borderless world, we are all citizens of one big nation — Earth.

Be that as it may, all you had to do was ask and we will definitely discuss and debate it like any mature, independent democracy in the spirit of co-operation between two ASEAN nations.

But look at what have you done now and what have you achieved? 

We are neighbours and nothing is too big or complicated for diplomacy. We can never have too many friends, but cannot afford a single enemy less we desire interference from world powers who are ever ready to meddle in our policies.

Learn to be more diplomatic, dear Indonesians, and use the newly found freedom to demonstrate wisely while we Malaysians are still forgiving and tolerant. Learn that there is a limit to any patience, and I am sure you’d understand why ours is growing thin.

We can look away once or twice, but do not take our hospitality for granted as it is not infinite.

Dr Kamal Amzan

It’s all about ‘mee’

By Nooraini Mydin | penang@nstp.com.my 0 comments

HIGH-FRYERS: The Penang ‘mee rebus’ has won fans and fame in Malaysia, thanks to a few good Mamak who are still ‘frying high’ even after more than half a century

Mohd Sultan is the man behind the stall.

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  GEORGE TOWN: EVEN if you haven’t tasted it, you surely would have heard of the Penang mee rebus. But where can you find it these days?

   It is a dish that is fast disappearing from Penang’s landscape of hawker stalls, but thankfully, the Mamak who has been feeding my family our regular doses of  mee rebus since the 1970s is still “frying high”.

  The so-called mee Mamak in Kuala Lumpur tends to be laden with soy sauce, which makes it dark, dry and unappetising.

  The Penang version is a delicious, red colour from the specially-made chilli sauce.

  Mee rebus is a meal in itself, laden with yummy goodness like cuttlefish, prawn fritters, beef, egg, potato, tauhu and of course, the all-important  taugeh which gives it that fresh crunchiness.

  The secret is in the sauce, which should be thick and hot, with a tinge of sourness. And the only person I trust to do it properly is Mahboob of Mee Rebus Bangkok Lane fame.

  The stall is the keystone of the corner coffee shop in Lorong Bangkok, off Jalan Burmah.

  Having started at 15 to help his father, Mohamad Zakaria at the stall after school, Mahboob was ready to step into his old man’s shoes when he was taken ill.

  From the time he had a full afro till now, when he sports nothing more than a bald pate, Mahboob has been whizzing about behind the piles of ingredients on the stall shelf; a pinch of this, a sprinkle of that, Mahboob is on auto-pilot after 42 years on the job.

  Long before Merdeka, his father sold noodles out of a pushcart (in the pre-tricycle days), in nearby Bagan Jermal. Tired of being harangued by the British-run Municipal authority, he set up shop at the current location in 1949. Mahboob offers the same fare his father did —mee rebus, mee goreng, kway teow, bihun and pasembur.

  It is the original mee rebus that the noodle connoisseurs order, but he says: “The new generation don’t seem to go for it. They prefer the fried mee, probably because they don’t want to have to worry about the sauce spilling onto their clothes.”

  Indeed,  mee rebus ranks as high in the danger-to-clothing stakes as spaghetti.

  Still, Mahboob is content that the regulars, including those who’ve lived abroad, have returned to seek him out. These have even taken the  mee rebus to far flung places.

  “Before Australia banned food items, parents visiting their children studying there would take it there. Now I’ve people taking it with them to China and Egypt.”

  The biggest order he has had for despatch abroad was 50 packs.

  With air travel and refrigeration, this is not unusual.

  Penang food buffs worried that their favourite hawker food might go the way of the dodo will be relieved to know that Mahboob has his son, Sabiq, all ready to take the baton.

  ’Mee Agong’/’Mee CRC’

  The name “Mee CRC” came from the stall’s old location outside the Chinese Recreation Club. Its current spot in Larut Cafe in Jalan Larut, is its fourth home.

  The stall was started four generations back by Mohd Musa, who set up his stall at the Pykett Methodist School canteen in 1941 before deciding to set up shop on a pushcart along Jalan Sultan Ahmad Shah, then known as Jalan Northam. It was here, in the early 1960s, that Raja Perlis, the then Yang Di-Pertuan Agong, upon passing by, got his aide to order the mee rebus.

  He liked it and became a regular. What an endorsement. Since then, it has been known among regular customers as mee Agong.

  Road works there sent Mohd Musa and son, Nagoor Meerah, to peddle the noodles outside the Chinese Recreation Club (CRC) but for the last 22 years, the stall has been in Larut Café, and run by Nagoor’s son, Mohd Razali. He is now grooming his nephew, Muhammad Faris Abdul Aziz to take over the family business.

  The stall offers the full array of noodles. but for me, it is the mee goreng it does best.  The mee Agong is also nice because even fried, the  mee is moist.

 ’Mee Sultan’

  Mee Sultan used to be in Lorong Swatow, outside New World Park, a former entertainment venue from pre-Independence days.

  The stall proprietor, Mohd Sultan Mydin still remembers the pre-war days when joget sessions featuring P. Ramlee and Ahmad Nawab, and boxing tournaments were held at the park.

  He moved the stall there from Jalan Argyll in 1980.

  Lorong Swatow was a popular eating place with a Chinese kopitiam supplying the drinks, an ais kacang seller and a popiah stall.

  Apart from the standard noodles, Mee Sultan also serves pasembur but my all-time favourite has to be his kway teow goreng , which is moist like char kway teow but red and spicy.  

  All the stalls had to move out while New World Park was demolished for re-development. Nobody seemed to know where Mamak Sultan had gone. I was gutted. Mee Sultan sightings were posted on Facebook, but nobody could take me to it.

  Then, when the site reopened as a food and retail outlet in 2007, there he was. What a lovely surprise!

  He’s been there ever since, cooking up a regular treat that has fans  wiping chilli-induced sweat from their brows and calling for ice-cream  ais kacang from the nearby stall.

   The 73-year old has many fans indeed. Last year, his regular customers enjoyed a novelty in the form of a “Mat Salleh” frying the noodles in his place.

  It was his son-in-law, Norwegian Mohamad Thomas Broen who was giving the Mamak a hand before claiming that of his daughter, Habsah and whisking her back to Norway with him.

  Although his children are not interested in the business, Mamak Sultan can rest easy as his nephew, Kadir Mydin is ready to take over the business.

  Perhaps it is because upon reaching your 50s, you are hit by nostalgia for all the good things past, but I would hate for these hawker delights to vanish from our culinary repertoire because of a lack of interest from the younger generation.

  Fortunately, this might just not happen in my lifetime.

stories from my uterus

so i guess people already know that we're pregnant; i'm 14 weeks in and ariff is 28 years and counting. yeay! i've been meaning to write about all the memories i suppose i should immortalize but of course, i haven't :) so i shall make a list of things i think i should write about:

1. funny things

2. weird things

yes. shall get to it once i finish this pint of ice cream. oh yeah....

6 Leadership Styles, And When You Should Use Them

BY ROBYN BENINCASA

Taking a team from ordinary to extraordinary means understanding and embracing the difference between management and leadership. According to writer and consultant Peter Drucker, "Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things." 

Manager and leader are two completely different roles, although we often use the terms interchangeably. Managers are facilitators of their team members’ success. They ensure that their people have everything they need to be productive and successful; that they’re well trained, happy and have minimal roadblocks in their path; that they’re being groomed for the next level; that they are recognized for great performance and coached through their challenges.

Conversely, a leader can be anyone on the team who has a particular talent, who is creatively thinking out of the box and has a great idea, who has experience in a certain aspect of the business or project that can prove useful to the manager and the team. A leader leads based on strengths, not titles.

The best managers consistently allow different leaders to emerge and inspire their teammates (and themselves!) to the next level.

When you’re dealing with ongoing challenges and changes, and you’re in uncharted territory with no means of knowing what comes next, no one can be expected to have all the answers or rule the team with an iron fist based solely on the title on their business card. It just doesn’t work for day-to-day operations. Sometimes a project is a long series of obstacles and opportunities coming at you at high speed, and you need every ounce of your collective hearts and minds and skill sets to get through it.

This is why the military style of top-down leadership is never effective in the fast-paced world of adventure racing or, for that matter, our daily lives (which is really one big, long adventure, hopefully!). I truly believe in Tom Peters’s observation that the best leaders don’t create followers; they create more leaders. When we share leadership, we’re all a heck of a lot smarter, more nimble and more capable in the long run, especially when that long run is fraught with unknown and unforeseen challenges.

Change leadership styles

Not only do the greatest teammates allow different leaders to consistently emerge based on their strengths, but also they realize that leadership can and should be situational, depending on the needs of the team. Sometimes a teammate needs a warm hug. Sometimes the team needs a visionary, a new style of coaching, someone to lead the way or even, on occasion, a kick in the bike shorts. For that reason, great leaders choose their leadership style like a golfer chooses his or her club, with a calculated analysis of the matter at hand, the end goal and the best tool for the job.

My favorite study on the subject of kinetic leadership is Daniel Goleman’s Leadership That Gets Results, a landmark 2000 Harvard Business Review study. Goleman and his team completed a three-year study with over 3,000 middle-level managers. Their goal was to uncover specific leadership behaviors and determine their effect on the corporate climate and each leadership style’s effect on bottom-line profitability.

The research discovered that a manager’s leadership style was responsible for 30% of the company’s bottom-line profitability! That’s far too much to ignore. Imagine how much money and effort a company spends on new processes, efficiencies, and cost-cutting methods in an effort to add even one percent to bottom-line profitability, and compare that to simply inspiring managers to be more kinetic with their leadership styles. It’s a no-brainer.

Here are the six leadership styles Goleman uncovered among the managers he studied, as well as a brief analysis of the effects of each style on the corporate climate:

1. The pacesetting leader expects and models excellence and self-direction. If this style were summed up in one phrase, it would be “Do as I do, now.” The pacesetting style works best when the team is already motivated and skilled, and the leader needs quick results. Used extensively, however, this style can overwhelm team members and squelch innovation.
   
2. The authoritative leader mobilizes the team toward a common vision and focuses on end goals, leaving the means up to each individual. If this style were summed up in one phrase, it would be “Come with me.” The authoritative style works best when the team needs a new vision because circumstances have changed, or when explicit guidance is not required. Authoritative leaders inspire an entrepreneurial spirit and vibrant enthusiasm for the mission. It is not the best fit when the leader is working with a team of experts who know more than him or her.
   
3. The affiliative leader works to create emotional bonds that bring a feeling of bonding and belonging to the organization. If this style were summed up in one phrase, it would be “People come first.” The affiliative style works best in times of stress, when teammates need to heal from a trauma, or when the team needs to rebuild trust. This style should not be used exclusively, because a sole reliance on praise and nurturing can foster mediocre performance and a lack of direction.
   
4. The coaching leader develops people for the future. If this style were summed up in one phrase, it would be “Try this.” The coaching style works best when the leader wants to help teammates build lasting personal strengths that make them more successful overall. It is least effective when teammates are defiant and unwilling to change or learn, or if the leader lacks proficiency.
   
5. The coercive leader demands immediate compliance. If this style were summed up in one phrase, it would be “Do what I tell you.” The coercive style is most effective in times of crisis, such as in a company turnaround or a takeover attempt, or during an actual emergency like a tornado or a fire. This style can also help control a problem teammate when everything else has failed. However, it should be avoided in almost every other case because it can alienate people and stifle flexibility and inventiveness.
   
6. The democratic leader builds consensus through participation. If this style were summed up in one phrase, it would be “What do you think?” The democratic style is most effective when the leader needs the team to buy into or have ownership of a decision, plan, or goal, or if he or she is uncertain and needs fresh ideas from qualified teammates. It is not the best choice in an emergency situation, when time is of the essence for another reason or when teammates are not informed enough to offer sufficient guidance to the leader.

Bottom line? If you take two cups of authoritative leadership, one cup of democratic, coaching, and affiliative leadership, and a dash of pacesetting and coercive leadership “to taste,” and you lead based on need in a way that elevates and inspires your team, you’ve got an excellent recipe for long-term leadership success with every team in your life.

So how do we tell everyone the great news?

         Pop-Up 'Countdown' Calender from our Australian friends, Andrew & Claire (01/06/2012)

       Making our first baby announcement to the world on FB at 13 weeks/end of 1st trimester (01/06/2012)

Here's to counting the days....and making the days count =)

 

Encounters With ‘Narcissistic Men’ (NM)

There is an a somewhat appeal when you meet narcissistic men. They  have this je ne sais quoi  that you just can’t wrap your finger around. To avoid embarrassment here of who they are I shall refrain from mentioning names but will say my piece of what I learnt from them, both good and the not so:

i)                    NM are so full of themselves. Maybe this is because they are very self driven and make leaps & bounds in their area of specialisation whatever it may be. This skill is a quite a respectable one indeed because not a lot of people I see I can look up to. Maybe its because it doesn’t appeal to me or catch my eye. However IM’s make it a point (whether coincidently or otherwise) to be seen, heard, and noticed. To me they are not only eye catching but are appealing. Too much of it though can be border line of revolting. So the lesson here is to know when to stop or you won’t stay long at the top.

ii)                   NM can be a pain in d arse as they don’t follow to conventional rules like everyone else. The irony here is that they follow the book. However when a chapter doesn’t jive with them be sure that they won’t only not read/ignore that chapter, the IM would actually tear that chapter (and in some cases write a new one). Having a problem with authority is what would people acknowledge them by. However its these personalities that you can count on to start a revolution to correct the wrongs of this world. Its these type of IM that we need to jumpstart some ‘systems that are either asleep/failing/or need a good kick up the rear’

iii)                 NM are like DIY guys…They see a problem they fix it but in most cases they make sure you know that they took the trouble to do so. If you take a few glances here you will see different interpretations of this statement. For one, people might say that IM are the go-to-guys to shake things up, or to move negotiations/discussions/opinions in favour of their own goals. However most times, their goals are noble and for greater good. Some sectors might see them as blowing their own horn. But lets be honest here, who does not want to be acknowledge and recognised for their efforts?

iv)                 NM have ‘no fear’. The term fear I refer here is more of the fear of other people. At first I thought this is an in built character but slowly I realise that it is not the case. The IM has no fear because he does not put himself in a position to do so or does not approve nor dwell in the world of hanky panky. The IM has no fear because his heart, his soul, his mind, and his conscience are clear and his moral compass points towards that which he feels is right and to me this type of conviction is something that is so lacking in todays world.

v)                  NM have this trait that when they know what they want, they just go and get it….plain and simple. However I noticed a pattern that IM man when it comes to big things (ie negotiation, presentation, sports, defending national interest etc.) they are sublime and are in a class of their own. Making them the go-to-guys when they are needed the most; maybe heroes in some light. On the other hand when it comes to other matters (i.e remembering dates, make decisions of where to have dinner, or directions) most of the times they are hopeless. I may be over generalising it a bit but its just an observation not a research finding.

I fear I might ramble so I shall end my thoughts with the following:  we need more leaders among men which I see today in too few. They are different types of personalities out there but I believe from leading a war or leading/raising a family, the IM types are the ones who would be the best to lead the armada or to be the pillar-of-strength who hold the family together. Personally at times I might feel annoyed at NM, but I will not hide and say that at times, I am a tad bit jealous of a NM and how they can see the world in with different lenses and put things in perspective that (if you took it positively) make this world a better place and that much more enjoyable to live in.

Here’s to all NM out there. Have a great 20^th of the month. 

PERTANDINGAN FUTSAL TERTUTUP KLN 2012

Aktiviti Sukan 2012

PERTANDINGAN FUTSAL TERTUTUP KLN 2012 

Pertandingan Futsal Tertutup KLN 2012 anjuran Biro Sukan, Kelab Sukan dan Kebajikan Wisma Putra telah berjaya diadakan pada 21 April 2012 bertempat di Gelanggang Futsal Tertutup Sport Planet Futsal Puchong, Jalan Puchong Batu 14, Puchong.

Berikut merupakan keputusan dan senarai penuh warga Wisma Putra yang telah menyertai pertandingan ini. 

Kelab Sukan dan Kebajikan Wisma Putra ingin mengucapkan tahniah kepada semua pemenang.Bagi yang tidak berjaya, teruskan usaha anda di masa yang akan datang. Ucapan terima kasih juga diucapkan kepada YB Senator A. Kohilan Pillay, Timbalan Menteri Luar Negeri kerana sudi meluangkan masa untuk merasmikan pentandingan ini. Jutaan terima kasih juga kepada semua yang terlibat di dalam menjayakan kejohanan ini serta para penyokong yang datang memberi sokongan kepada para pemain.

Johan Kategori Lelaki - Sapu Bersih

Naib Johan Kategori Lelaki - Al Kono FC

Johan Kategori Wanita - Happy Feets Girls

Naib Johan Kategori Wanita - Cap Ayam

Tahniah kepada semua pemenang!